Life with Nin

Homeschooling: The Gift of Yourself

I was reading my e-mail from a homeschooling list (my electronic support group) a few weeks ago when a couple of messages caught my eye.  One was from the mother of a “shy” child who related that she herself was shy and that she was “forcing” herself to be less shy for the sake of her child.  The other was from an “uncrafty” mother who, because she felt that arts and crafts were important for her children, was trying to learn some simple crafts to share with them, while feeling as though she had two left thumbs.

What did these two messages have in common?  Well, a lot of things, of course, but the thing I want to comment on is that while both moms were trying to do their best for their children, as we all are, I think they were missing a fundamental issue here.  I think that one of the benefits of homeschooling is the opportunity it provides us of giving ourselves to our children.  Our time, yes, but also who we are fundamentally, those unique combination of traits and characteristics that make us, well, us.  Who we are is, of course, a work in progress, just as our children are works in progress; we are all learning.  For me, that means that I am open about the process, that I share with my children my strengths and weaknesses, those things I care passionately about and honestly admitting to those things that I could care less about.  They don’t let me get away with trying to be someone or something that I am not and your kids probably don’t let you, either.  Because even while “shy” mom is forcing herself to be less shy, her child is aware of what her mom is doing, why that behavior isn’t *really* her mom at all, and probably wondering why mom is being so weird.

So, of all the things we homeschooling parents are, resource finder, chauffeur, dishwasher, mediator, planner, the list is endless, the most important role of all is just to be yourself, imperfect though that may be.  Homeschooling is the gift of yourself to your children.

copyright 1998 Carol Burris   Originally published in my local homeschooling group, HELPS, newsletter 9/1998