Life with Nin

Reasons to homeschool: Advantages for the parent

September.  All around us families are sending their precious children off to school while we march to the sounds of a different drummer. Perhaps you are starting up our homeschooling year from a summer break or simply continuing what you do every day – living and learning together with our children.  I suspect every one of us has had at least one conversation recently with someone – family, friend or skeptic – about the advantages children receive from a home based education.  I am sure each of you have your favorites arguments – and – whew – this column is *not* going to be about mine.

Instead, I want to be a bit selfish here.   Or am I really being selfish?   You be the judge. I want to talk about the advantages that come to us, the parents, who are home educating our children.

One of the first things that comes to my mind is our freedom of schedule.  We are free to respond to our own personal and seasonal rhythms and those of our children without always having some place we have to be at some specific time.  No need to worry if one sleeps in late again today.  His day will start when he does.  Obviously, that also means that we can travel or visit popular sites when others are otherwise occupied, but to me that is just icing on the cake.  The real advantage comes each and every day that we just stay at home.

Another benefit is that we as mothers may feel less “on display” without having a child’s teacher looking over our shoulder, stating or implying that if we only did such and such differently  (“Read to them more.”  “Make them go to sleep earlier so they will be more alert in class.”   Get them involved in the teacher’s pet activity, etc.), our child would have a much easier time fitting in or whatever the issue is under discussion.  We have not given any “authority” figure the implicit permission to attack our parenting choices.  We are not forced to be on display.

How about the obvious benefit of having time to explore some of our own interests?  I have known many homeschooling parents who, using the guise of demonstrating interest based learning to their children, have discovered whole new worlds of interests and characteristics about themselves that they might not have had the opportunity to explore without the lifestyle homeschooling provides them.  After a while, they no longer need to use the excuse of the demonstration and can happily continue the pursuit of their own interests.  So we are free to spend hours lost in a book, for instance – at least some of the time – as an example to our children.

For me, the necessity of homeschooling our children (Yes, I felt that way in the beginning; I had to “save” them from the school system) took away the guilt that society often lays on the stay at home mom.  I could define myself as a homeschooling parent not  just a housewife.  I did not need to explain why I chose not to be in the work force.  I had always wanted to be a stay at home mother, but until we began homeschooling I always felt a little bit guilty over that desire.

Not in any way the least of these advantages is the fact that homeschooling allows us to spend many more hours with our children, to truly know them for the special people they are and    for them to truly know us, warts and all.  We are not forced to separate from our children just because society says they need to go to school.  We continue to be the center of their lives much longer, forming stronger bonds and closer relationships.  Family matters more than peers.  We have the time to *live* our values along side our children, rather than just talking about them.  When the time comes for them to be independent, they know deeply from whence they have come.

Finally, homeschooling is really about empowerment.  In taking charge of our children’s education, by denying society that incursion in our lives, we often find that we begin to take charge in other areas of our lives as well.  We begin to question many of our previous assumptions in many aspects of life and make more conscious choices.  Life becomes more authentic and aware.  I know that I am much stronger and surer in my own identity because of the journey we began a dozen years ago of living and learning with our children.

So, while celebrating all the wonderful things that homeschooling is doing for your children, do not forget to be thankful for those things it has also given you.

copyright 1999  Carol E. Burris  Originally published in my local homeschooling group, HELPS, newsletter.